An advice from a regular girl who decided to make a change.
First, I really want to thank all of you for your concerned e-mails and messages about why I stopped blogging, It’s been a heck of a year for me. I could write over a thousand words about that but today I wanted to talk about something that has always been very important for me. Being Happy.
“Aww it’s okay, everything will work out.. Just be happy” Saying that to someone who’s world is falling apart is like telling someone who broke their leg, to just walk it off.
I’ve always been a happy person in general and had a very positive outlook on life. Whenever anything bad happened to me, I always thought of how so many other people have it way worse than me, and moved on by thanking God for everything that I do have. In the last two years, It had gotten very hard to have that view of life. I felt like everything that I loved was being taken away from me. I felt like God was nothing but cruel to me and the only thing that I can do is accept that this is my life now. I actually woke up everyday and said to myself, “One day at a time”.
I went on for about 2 years avoiding the things that made me unhappy, in that time I did a lot of research on how to live a happier life and I tried pretty much everything, Yoga, meditation, writing a journal and yes, even therapy. Most of the articles suggested that I hardwire my brain into being happy. How does that even work?, I thought. Apparently you wake up every morning, write down things that you are thankful for and throughout the day look for things you’ll write about the next day. So you basically just think about being happy and one day you’ll just be happy. LOL. I’m not saying its wrong, it’s a great way to stay positive on days where nothing seems to be going right but the most important thing I realized was, Everything I tried was giving me this short-term satisfaction, which would go away the moment something went wrong. Believe me when I say this, Everything was just going wrong.
I started planning getaways because that seemed to make me the happiest. The feeling of knowing that I’ll be away from everything gave me the motivation to power through my day. That was until I went to Thailand last year with my best friend. Even though we had jam-packed itineraries and were basically on the go the entire time we were there, I had a lot of time to myself and I took that time to reflect on where everything went wrong. Even though I had accepted that that’s just how life is, I knew something was wrong when I said that it was the happiest I’ve been in the last 5 to 6 years and every time I thought of going back home it almost made me cry.
It was a long flight back and if you guys know me, you know I don’t sleep well when I’m flying. It was on that flight when I decided that I can’t live like that anymore. I had seen myself happy and this time I was not ready to accept whatever was waiting for me when I landed back home. Here’s what I did:
1) Instead of making a list of things that made me happy, I made a list of things that I was not happy with.
No doubt, this list was a lot longer then all the other lists I’ve made before. I had spent this entire time avoiding my problems so putting them in writing and just acknowledging them was probably the hardest thing I did. As I read that list over and over, I realized most of the things on the list were the things I could change. It wasn’t going to be easy, I knew because some of the changes were going to bring out true colours of a lot of people in my life and leave me with the hard choice of moving on without them. Spoiler Alert* I was right, none of them are in my life anymore.
2) Instead of thinking about why it wouldn’t work, I thought of all the possibilities WHEN it did work.
Thanks to the hours I had spent researching about how to live a better life, this was not hard for me to do because to make it work all I had to do was stay positive. The very first thing I did just to give myself this motivational boost was to stop being lazy and get all the things done that I’ve been delaying for the last 10 years. Little things like getting my driver’s licence gave me this sense of accomplishment that kept me motivated to complete all my goals. That takes me right to my next point;
3) I set long-term and short-term goals.
Previously, I only focused on short-term goals, like the vacation planned in 3 months or the event coming up in a few weeks. Nothing that was actually going to benefit me. This time I set these long-term goals that would actually make me move forward with a very healthy amount of short term goals that helped me stay focused.
These three simple steps started a chain reaction in my life and I am so thankful for it. My life might not be where I wanted it to be at this time but I’m working towards making it what I want. Like I said before, there were a lot of things on the list that I could change but some of them I couldn’t, they come back to me sometimes in the midst of an amazing day and no matter how hard I try to go back to normal, it brings me down. Change doesn’t happen overnight, I still cry myself to sleep at times and as someone very close to me tells me every time it happens; “You are human and there’s only so much you can take, breaking down is normal as long as you know how to pick yourself back up.”
I’m not a therapist or an expert at this but I’ve been wanting to write about this for a while and if this post helps even one person make a change in their life, it would fulfill the purpose of this post.
Since this is a Fashion and beauty blog you think I would leave it without talking about that? It’s fall and all the fall colours outside have been making me do a fall coloured smokey eye with a cozy sweater and boots. Here’s a look I recently shot with my new photographer and MUA Meera khan. My VERY talented friend who did my hair and make-up exactly the way I wanted. Please follow @meeraakhaan on instagram and support her work. ❤
Outfit Details Jeans : Garage Sweater: dynamite Boots: Call it spring Hair and Makeup : Meera A Khan <3